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In which the narrator is mildly surprised . . . [17 Aug 2006|03:51pm] [ mood | bemused ] [ music | Barenaked Ladies: Brian Wilson ] Curious. I'd nearly forgotten I once had a DeadJournal. Just in case anyone should stumble onto this . . . quaint bit of journalizing and find yourself mildly amused . . . wait a few minutes; make sure it's not just gas. Ho-hum. Still here? Well, since you've determined that this DeadJournal hasn't given you indigestion, I recommend checking out my regular blog: JOSH BALES dot NET. It might not be as angry as the Captain's Log, but it's better written and a bit more interesting. Perhaps I will incorporate my half-year's worth of posts here into JBdN. Indeed, I think I shall. JAB

[09 Jan 2003|10:55pm] Once again, any of you who might happen by this and looking for my blog, it has moved. Again. It's home is now at The Josh Bales Experience http://joshbales.ableinternet.com Josh

okay, i lied... [13 Oct 2002|11:11pm] ...this is probably my last post on deadjournal.com. my new site is finally up. go to joshbalesdotnet, where you can find shit about me, and my upsaid journal.

this is the end [08 Oct 2002|11:56pm] okay. after getting really pissed off at deadjournal a week or so ago, i went searching for a new blog/journal host. and i have found something completely awesome: upsaid.com. it is very, very sweet, has no ads and is a hell of a lot faster than the stupid server deadjournal has. so go see my new journal there, it is way cooler than this one. oh, and delete the link to this journal. this will (probably) be my last post here ever. there is a new truth, deadjounal....

"curiouser and curiouser, eh, mortificator crenshaw?" [01 Oct 2002|10:36pm] [ mood | pleased ] so some jackass hit a telephone pole in my neighborhood sometime Sunday night. consequently, i had no phone service until about 11 am today. this meant i couldn't get on the internet. while this seemed irritating to me at first, it turned out to be a blessing. not only did i work on my website a lot (it'll be up in about a week or so), i also finished writing my story and typed it up. so that was pretty cool. nothing really new and exciting on this front. i'm getting kinda sick of emperor bush and all his war rhetoric, not too mention those scumfucks donald rumsfeld and dick cheney. all of them were business tycoons before going to their respective positions, and the economy is shit now. sounds a little fishy to me. granted, our sucky economy really should be blamed more on the clinton administration, because it's just taken a while for the bad times to catch up with us. but all this talk of war is definitely not helping matters. has anyone else noticed that bush kinda resembles Emperor Palpatine in star wars? i know this is real geeky, but i'm being serious. palpatine was a duly elected president who secretly was evil, and when a time of crisis arrived, he "reluctantly" took on more power and became a dictator, and then the emperor of a galaxy. what is even creepier is that george lucas based the rise of his character on that of adolf hitler. so if you follow that reasoning, things get ultra-mega creepy. just as i was getting off work, i mean i had just clocked out, and my cell phone rang with a number i didn't know. turns out it was a chick i knew from a year ago at college. she was going through her cell phone, deleting numbers she never called. and she called me. i talked to her for about thirty minutes in the wal-mart parking lot. i'm supposed to call her next week so we can hang out. neat! okay i'm gonna go work on the page some more. later.

jokes [28 Sep 2002|10:56pm] sarah and i also spent an hour or so looking at jokes on this website, boredshitless.com. i post some of the best, shortest ones for you herewith. Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car. Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming. What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. Q: What do poker and sex have in common? A: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the US from China. They decided to become American Citizens, and "Americanize" their names. Bu - called himself "Buck" Chu called himself "Chuck" and Fu had to go back to China. Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? A: The cake jumps out of the girl. my favorites are the porn star turned gas station attendant joke, and the fu, bu, and chu joke.

lordy, it's the headpiece to the staff of ra!! [28 Sep 2002|10:52pm] [ mood | sleepy ] i am so fucking tired. seriously. i really ought to be in bed right now, but that would be the sensible thing to do. and, as everyone knows, i am anything but sensible. all right, who am i fucking kidding? everyone knows i'm pretty goddamn sensible. i'm just not in bed because it's too early for bed. i am tired though. my weekend thus far has been long and exhausting. and then i go to work tomorrow. yee-haw. recap: school was cake Friday, mostly me trying to figure out some story i wanted to write. i was due up at sarah's at 330 or 4, and school let out at 1240. so, subtracting the one hour or so drive, i had two hour to kill. so i drove down to the barnes and noble by the mall and wrote a story. (i know everyone is absolutely riveted by the events i am recounting right now, but fuck you, it's my journal. if you don't like it, go look at some porn.) the story was neat, i'll post it on my site once i get it typed up. after finishing up there, i drove down to cincinnati, witnessed two accidents on the way, and arrived there unscathed. ran some errands with sarah (on a side note, i made four different trips up I-71 in less than twelve hours time. neat!) and then ate dinner at some weird italian restaurant that served food "family style" which means that they bring a huge-ass platter full of food and everyone chows down on it. it was good then we went back and played clue for an hour and a half (it was only one game, mind you. i don't think we were playing right. no game of clue should last an hour and a half.) the four of us (me, sarah, and her roommate, steph, and her suitemate potato--i mean, christa) did some other random shit for a while then at about 1 am we went to some dive called soupy's and danced. that's right, i actually danced. never been dancing in my life, except for school dances, but they don't count. i danced horribly, though i had a real good time. yup, there's nothing like making an ass of yourself for fun. on another side note, sarah did say she'd teach me how to dance so i wouldn't look so stupid. we made it back to her dorm around 230 or 245 (we would've been back sooner but sarah and christa had to help some really drunk dude back to his building) and then crashed soon after. woke up this morning, and sarah and i went to king's island. we rode tomb raider (sweet!) stood in line for top gun for a bit then left. by the way, my tickets were free so it didn't matter that we were only there for an hour and a half. i dropped sarah off at her dorm, then made the trek back home. stopped over at jason's on the way, and we went to barnes and noble and worked on revising part of our screenplay. our horrible horrible first act (it really wasn't that horrible. i exaggerate.) was redone and now it is much much better. i cannot stress how much better it is now. i finally arrived at my house around 715 or so where i proceeded to eat chips and salsa and leftover steak. i watched a weird movie "wag the dog" and now i am here, pouring my heart out to this little journal. oh, i just remembered something, so now i am going to abandon the chronological approach i have thus established in this entry, and take a timewarp back to the ride home from sarah's: on the way home, before getting on I-75, i made two potentially life-threatening driving faux-pauxes. 1) there was a really weird intersection where three different roads met. i accidentally ran a red light for my road, mistaking it for the green arrow on the other road. fortunately, no one was around to see my blunder, except for a big old van which was going like two miles per hour. otherwise, i was safe. 2) for some reason, of which i have no clue about, i decided to enter the highway by going up the exit ramp. yeah, i was heading right towards a mess of cars that were minding their own business, trying to get off the highway. instead of having a peaceful journey, they were greeted by a madman in a blue pontiac heading straight towards them. lucky for me, i managed to keep a cool head, and drove off into the grass separating the exit ramp and the entrance ramp. i darted in front of a semi and in a moment i was safely on the highway, and no one was dead. so yeah, that was my weekend so far. it kicked a lot of ass, except for all the driving mishaps. goodnight, and god bless.

cybercafe central [25 Sep 2002|01:20pm] [ mood | exanimate ] [ music | the eagles - hotel california ] i feel so weird right now. i'm at school, waiting for my geology lab to drop. wright state remodeled the student union earlier this year, the main building i guess you could say, and it's now open, and though i hate to admit it, it's really nice. right now i'm sitting at the "cyber cafe," which is a little lounge area with like twenty internet terminals. it's kinda cool, because i'm sitting here typing this shit. they also built a huge atrium like area with a whole lotta sitting area, and they have a starbucks like thing selling coffee. i feel so...weird here. and my god, the music is weird here. it's so fucking eclectic. i've already heard five for fighting's "superman," the 80's song "we got the beat," and now "hotel california" is blasting. how strange is that? anyways, i'm running outta shit to ramble about, so i'm gonna go read the paper. see ya.

chillin' like a villain [24 Sep 2002|03:06pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | boy genius - dreaming ] looking back: i finished my last week of summer hours at work. i'm now on my regular "Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday" lineup. thank god. i am so fucking sick of work, it isn't funny. work leaves me fried and bloated. i don't feel like doing anything. thusly, i don't feel like hanging out with anyone and i feel completely 100% uncreative. so hopefully, i'll start hanging out with people more. i went to the renaissance festival Saturday. i was only there for a few hours but i had a sweet ass time. i also bought a wicked sword for only fifty bucks. now i know there are better ways to spend fifty bucks; shit i can even name a whole lot, but the sword is real neat. case closed. expect to see a picture of it up sometime. i threw up last (Monday) night. i was playing a game, minding my own business, when all of a sudden i though, "shit, i have to yack." so i ran to the potty, threw up, then sat back down again and played a game. i felt completely 100% fine before and after yacking. weird, huh? looking forward: i am going to cincinnati this weekend. spending the night at sarah's Friday, getting into who knows what kind of mischief, and then we're going to kings' island on Saturday. this will be odd because: the weather has been quite cool of late. i've never been to king's island anytime except in the middle of summer. how weird will it be wearing long pants and possibly long sleeves at king's island, because, as sarah pointed out, riding roller coasters may be quite cold. anyways i am sure i will survive, quite possibly thrive, and assuredly strive to have fun. off to workies, bye!

after six months, i'm DONE!!!!! [18 Sep 2002|11:50pm] wow. i did it. like the subject line above said, i did it. today, September 28, 2002, at 2340 hours, I joshua bales, completed my first screenplay, called "destiny." this is huge for me. i am so not going to be able to sleep tonight. but that's okay, i don't care. i only have college tomorrow. no biggie. that's right, i started college today. boring shit, as usual, but at least there are some hot girls in my some of my classes. i so need a girlfriend. or sex. i could go for either one. sorry it's been so long since i updated. i switched computers a little over a week ago so i had to redownload programs, including the livejournal client that i update my deadjournal with. yeah, that does sound weird, you're not crazy. anyways, i can't make the program work like the FUCKING instructions say it should, so consequently, no journal updates. i'm only using the webversion of updating tonight to post my announcement. hopefully nate will email me back about how to fix the client thingee. got lotsa neat shit coming up soon, renaissance festival, kings island. i'm excited. but for now, i am gonna go shake some from excitement. later.

i stand for a killer nose grind [10 Sep 2002|11:54pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | from autumn to ashes - short stories with tragic endings ] i've been noticing lately how many personal journals or web logs there are on the internet. sites like livejournal have tens of thousands of people on them, constantly posting information about their lives. it is amazing that so many people are willing to say things about their personal lives on websites where anyone can read them. i think it says something about the voyeuristic side of humanity that we feel a need to show others inside information about ourselves or to watch other people's lives unfold via a journal. but why do so many bother to publicly talk about their problems or confide secrets? for most people, the only ones that read their journals are their friends. granted, some strangers do read others' journals, but for the most part only people we know take the time to read our journals. but if a journal in essence is a form of catharsis, where we can pour our feelings out and try to make sense of our lives, yet most of the people who read our journal are our friends, why bother? what i am saying is, how honest can you or will you be if you know your best friend will read your journal the next day? suppose you had a fight with your friend, and you write how you truly feel down. suppose you are just letting off steam, so you say things you really don't mean. your friend reads these hurtful statements, and takes offense. a rift could be created. since most people don't want this to happen, you may only state half truths, leaving out parts that we don't want this person to read. now suppose you take this scenario, multiply it by several friends, and what does that equal? well, what it does not equal is a honest or a mostly honest journal. it means your journal is so diluted by you trying to make everyone happy, that it doesn't accurately render how your life is going, or how you are truly feeling. on a slightly different path, some people use their journal to let others know how they feel. if they just hint at something enough, they hope some particular person will get their drift. you can go about this many different ways. suppose you are trying to tell someone you have feelings for them. instead of telling them in person or blatantly posting in your journal: "boy today i realized i love (insert name)", you can subtly drop hints: "i hung out with (insert name) today. i had such a good time with them. blah blah blah." so instead of being used as a method of self-examination, web journals are used to disguise the truth and our true feelings, and also to narcissistically display our lives to the entire world. so, if you really want to use a journal to record your life story and to do some serious self-examination, make a web journal and don't tell anyone about it. this way you can transcribe your day to day thoughts and feelings without fear of any friends reading something you don't want them to. or, you can buy a notebook (they're pretty cheap) and create a good old fashioned journal. however, if you have a little bit of exhibitionism in you, make a public journal, tell everyone you know about it, and then watch the shit hit the fan.

and Freud would say... [10 Sep 2002|12:05am] [ mood | horny ] had myself three extremely weird dreams last night, all of which woke me up and made me wonder what the hell was wrong with me. DREAM A: myself and someone else (nate possibly) were running from someone, whom i don't know. we ran out to a huge parking lot that nonetheless resembled the parking lot at the library near me. we found my car, but i couldn't get the door open because it was so close to the car next to me. so we went in through the sun roof. at this time i could tell people were chasing after us because i could hear them and i just KNEW they were after me. so i slammed the car into gear and tore out of there, running someone over and then promptly smashing into walmart. i then go into work, as though nothing was abnormal, clock in, and start to work. i then woke up. DREAM B: i was eating at wendy's with some random people (i don't remember) when some very familiar looking person on crutches walks out of the restaurant (if wendy's can be called a restaurant). i then ask mike mccoy who was walking in at the same time who that was. he said it was an old friend, brad kopacz. brad kopacz is someone i haven't talked to in about five years. he used to live near me back in the day, and we were good buddies. but then in the beginning of ninth grade, he moved to tipp city, and except for once the next summer when he drove by my house and i waved, i haven't seen him since. anyways, in my dream, i ran after him, and we started talking, and it was raining outside as he waited for a bus. i have no clue what we talked about, except that he said he just came back from a madonna concert and that he was a huge fan, and he was following her around the country. he also said that he was making a fortune betting on horse races. now, why he was on crutches, and if he had made a fortune, why was he taking the bus i don't know. all i know is that it was a fuckin creepy dream. DREAM C: dream C was fucking sweet. yup, that's right: it was a sex dream. haven't had one of these in a while, but man oh man, it was cool. well there was one aspect of it that i really don't want to get into, namely who it was. this made the dream vaguely unsettling, yet on a whole, the dream was cool. well, i know i only recounted these dreams and didn't really analyze them, but i think i know what one of them means.. unfortunately i'm not gonna talk about that, cuz it's my biddness, not yours. peace.

just when you think you got someone figured out... [04 Sep 2002|11:45pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] ...they go and surprise the hell out of you. HoratioTuna: hey josh earthdiestonight: what's up HoratioTuna: not much HoratioTuna: nice to run into you online as i did in person earthdiestonight: i know HoratioTuna: i meant to say you definitly should email me, i would like to hang out with you sometime earthdiestonight: i was all like "hey, it's todd!" HoratioTuna: i'm trying to get over my social phobia, earthdiestonight: social phobia? HoratioTuna: it's tought tough tough, i haven't really hung out with anyone in a long time earthdiestonight: yeah i can relate earthdiestonight: i've been hanging out with like only four people last few months HoratioTuna: i hang out with my roomate, and my girlfriend HoratioTuna: and whoever comes over because of my roomate HoratioTuna: occasionally i do more stuff, HoratioTuna: but that's aboot it HoratioTuna: so i'm sorry if it seems like i blew you and nate off , i really didn't HoratioTuna: i just am afraid to hang out with anyone earthdiestonight: dude it's okay earthdiestonight: i understand earthdiestonight: you hang out with the people you see more often earthdiestonight: if we'd had a class together or something like that, we probably would've hung out HoratioTuna: yea, i know you feel like i used you that one HoratioTuna: time HoratioTuna: but, it's really just i knew you were dependable, that's why i called you HoratioTuna: and nathan earthdiestonight: oh earthdiestonight: sorry dude earthdiestonight: that was a bad time for me HoratioTuna: dude, it's ok, i'm sorry i made it seem that way earthdiestonight: it's cool HoratioTuna: i feel bad for ignoring all my old friends just cause i went mental earthdiestonight: well we do worry about you earthdiestonight: in a completely heterosexual manner HoratioTuna: oh sure sure HoratioTuna: but uh yea..i just wanted to get that offa my chest HoratioTuna: i woulda said something at walmart, but the awkwardness earthdiestonight: well yeah i understand HoratioTuna: but hey, if yer ever in kettering, feel free to drop by ...later... HoratioTuna: i'm not around much right now, as me and rachel are trying to squeeze in as much time together because when we start school we won't get to see each other much HoratioTuna: but once school starts i'll be here all the damn time earthdiestonight: that's cool earthdiestonight: i work a lot anyways until school starts HoratioTuna: well shit dog, gimme a call when school starts, we'll get it ON earthdiestonight: hell yes! HoratioTuna: OOOOOOOOOH yea HoratioTuna: tell nate all the stuff i told you, i never see him online HoratioTuna: please earthdiestonight: i will HoratioTuna: tanks

true-dat, yo [03 Sep 2002|11:46pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | everclear - i be hatin' yo' cracka ass fo' christmas ] well, i took my car in today to have the hood fixed. for the uninitiated, some jackass backed into my car back in the spring in a parking lot and left before i got to my car. it's not a big dent, but it was really annoying to look at. it mars the whole front of the car. anyways, after i get that back, i'm taking it in to have the AC fixed. it broke too. let me tell you, it's not a lot of fun driving to and from cincinnati with no AC. i don't see how people survived before air conditioner. i went to tgi fridays after work tonight. i was fuckin' starving, too. and, as usual, it was delightful. what made it even more fun was playing the trivia game they have on the tv. they show questions on the tv, and you have a little machine that you can answer with. it was great. i'd never played before. it was me and jason (pardon my grammar) verses four or five other people. we were the shit for the first six questions, completely in the lead and killing everyone else. then, the food came. seeing that i was hungry, i didn't exactly pay the game nearly as much attention as i did my food. so, over the next 10 questions, we fell apart, just like the cincy reds did this year. we went from a huge lead in first to struggling for third. it was sad. on the bright side, i got to stuff my face. such is life. i was working on the screenplay last night, and everything was going nicely, and then i hit a fuckin' wall. i had no clue how to get to the next point. i knew where i had to go, but i had no idea how to get there. you have to understand, this has yet to happen to me. i've written three acts, 95 pages, and i haven't had any huge problems. i mean, i've had some trouble, but nothing i couldn't handle. so, i sat scribbling on paper for an hour till tow or three in the morning, then gave up and went to bed. fortunately, i closed with jason tonight at work, and after chatting about it, we devised a good solution. so, seeing that i have nothing to do till about six pm tomorrow, i am going to see if i can get some shit done on it. and on that note, peace out.

ho-hum [02 Sep 2002|11:21pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | brandtson - leaving ohio ] I am... Your attitude is punk, but you're still about 25% pop. The music you like is probably a lot more mainstream then the stuff that other punk kids listen too, but that's all right. You are true to heart pop-punker, and you don't really get into the trendy stuff too much. Created By aburke i don't know why i take stupid tests like this...they're just too tempting to pass by sometimes. went and got donutz with nate and erin tonight. jim's (the cofeee store we get donutz at, run by an evil man dressed all in white) was awful tonight. they had like seven different types of donutz available, when they usually have forty. it sucked. i got some crappy caramel-icing topped donut. it was gay. while there nate and erin were all snippy with each other. it was funny, but in a weird sort of way. whenever i see them she seems to get pissed at him easily and he just sits there and takes it. at least he stood up to her today. i was proud of my little buddy. i didn't write any earlier today. i was too tired, so i just napped. however, i'm in the mood right now actually, so i think i'm gonna go.

dripdripdrip goes the water [02 Sep 2002|06:05pm] [ mood | full ] [ music | eminem & dr dre - guilty conscience ] holy shit i am soooo full. i just had two heapin' plate fulls of my mama's cookin' and i am stuffed. of course, aside from that, all i have had to eat today is a bowl of leftover potato-things. now i feel like i'm going to throw up. exciting. i went up to sarah's dorm yesterday, had a good time. we were supposed to see fireworks but it started raining really hard and we didn't feel like hopping a bus downtown. so instead, we just stayed in and watched television. i never realized how funny "the man show" can be. it would sweet to have a job like theirs, just doing weird and funny shit and drink beer and talk. my poppa got a new 19" computer monitor at wal-mart today. it is nice, but i was content with the 17" we had been using. however, i get to take the old monitor up to my room, where i can listen to phat beats (please don't mention the fact that you can't listen to phat beats with a monitor). yeah, so all i need now is to go buy a modem and i can be online in my room. wahoo! well, i'm gonna go work on the screenplay now. later.

da checking account dat fucks wit me, i fuck back harder [30 Aug 2002|11:35am] [ mood | good ] [ music | nothing, bitches ] i just resolved the little snafu that i had with my checking account. the bank and i had a ten dollar discrepancy somewhere that finally bugged me enough to try and figure out, which i did. i had taken thirty dollars outta the ATM, but only marked twenty dollars in my checkbook. situation resolved! i watched "enter the dragon" last night. it was surprisingly good. what makes the movie even cooler is the fact that bruce lee actually could fight like that. so many movies you see nowadays have stupid american actors running around, pretending they are martial artists while they utter awful one-liners. yet if they got in a barfight in real life, they'd get their asses kicked and cry like girls. now i just have to go see the other bruce lee movies: "the chinese connection", "fists of fury", and "return of the dragon." time to go call nate. peace.

i wanna be selfish, too [27 Aug 2002|10:38pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | chuck berry - you never can tell ] i got a new phone yesterday! it's neat! not a new cell phone mind you, but a new regamular phone. it works well and doesn't kill phone service throughout the entire house like my last phone did. see it had been acting kinda janky lately, and it probably knew it was gonna die soon. so being a bitchy phone, it decided to fuck with uncle joshie and his family by annihilating phone service whenever it was plugged into the house. well i hope it had a good time messing up my life for one night (actually like three hours, cuz then i went to bed) cuz now it is out in the garage on the bottom of the motherfuckin trashcan. ha, the last laugh is mine! i went thrift-storin' with nate and erin today. we went to the village thrift outlet or something like that, out in the ghetto. it had neat shit and was well organized. all of the pants even had the waist and length measurements posted, thus making it easier to identify my correct size. shit, i said "thus." so anyways i got a coupla shirts and sweaters, thus adding to my "emo" look, as nate would put it. even though i'm not emo. i just wear thrift store clothes. shit i said "thus" again back there. in other news i'm going up to cincy on Sunday. i'm takin sarah and her roomie steph back there from here (dayton), and we're gonna go see fireworks and do other amusing shit. so that should be a good time. well, i'm running out of things to write about. goodnight.

wouldn't it be neat to have a spongebob sno-cone maker? [26 Aug 2002|03:02pm] [ mood | contemplative ] shit I haven't written in this sumbitch in a while. I don't lead an interesting enough life really to warrant an internet journal. and things that I would talk about I can't because I don't want everyone to read. school starts in a few weeks. i'm looking forward to it only because it means I have to work less. I would go find a new job but I don't think I could find one that is a) as flexible as the walmart photolab and b) that pays nearly sevenfiddy. sarah went back to school two days ago. it's kinda of saddening to me because I had such an awesome time hanging out with her the week before she left. que sera. I started writing act IV of the screenplay last night. right now it's clocking in at 94 pages and will probably be close to 120 when I finish. that is the most exciting thing going on with me right now (and i'm not being sarcastic either). hopefully once I get it finished, jason and I can do some rewrites on it, and then start testing the waters, agent and producer-wise. hmm, I wonder where I would live, if we (myself and jason, the man whom I created the world of "destiny" with) got that sumbitch made and were swimming in the bank (that's "cash" for those of you who don't work in the ghetto)? would I want to move out to los angeles, where all of the action is, or would I want to move out to kettering somewhere, still near my family and friends? it's a tough question, but I have a long way to go before I have to worry about that. well, time to go to work.

ha [22 Jul 2002|11:40am] I'm Tim as The Lord of Darkness in Legend,which Tim Curry are you? by Clicks and Buzzes go me go.

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