Current mood:	calm
Current music:	from autumn to ashes - short stories with tragic endings

i stand for a killer nose grind
i've been noticing lately how many personal journals or web logs there are on the internet. sites like livejournal have tens of thousands of people on them, constantly posting information about their lives.

it is amazing that so many people are willing to say things about their personal lives on websites where anyone can read them. i think it says something about the voyeuristic side of humanity that we feel a need to show others inside information about ourselves or to watch other people's lives unfold via a journal.

but why do so many bother to publicly talk about their problems or confide secrets? for most people, the only ones that read their journals are their friends. granted, some strangers do read others' journals, but for the most part only people we know take the time to read our journals. but if a journal in essence is a form of catharsis, where we can pour our feelings out and try to make sense of our lives, yet most of the people who read our journal are our friends, why bother?

what i am saying is, how honest can you or will you be if you know your best friend will read your journal the next day? suppose you had a fight with your friend, and you write how you truly feel down. suppose you are just letting off steam, so you say things you really don't mean. your friend reads these hurtful statements, and takes offense. a rift could be created. since most people don't want this to happen, you may only state half truths, leaving out parts that we don't want this person to read. now suppose you take this scenario, multiply it by several friends, and what does that equal? well, what it does not equal is a honest or a mostly honest journal. it means your journal is so diluted by you trying to make everyone happy, that it doesn't accurately render how your life is going, or how you are truly feeling.

on a slightly different path, some people use their journal to let others know how they feel. if they just hint at something enough, they hope some particular person will get their drift. you can go about this many different ways. suppose you are trying to tell someone you have feelings for them. instead of telling them in person or blatantly posting in your journal: "boy today i realized i love (insert name)", you can subtly drop hints: "i hung out with (insert name) today. i had such a good time with them. blah blah blah."

so instead of being used as a method of self-examination, web journals are used to disguise the truth and our true feelings, and also to narcissistically display our lives to the entire world. so, if you really want to use a journal to record your life story and to do some serious self-examination, make a web journal and don't tell anyone about it. this way you can transcribe your day to day thoughts and feelings without fear of any friends reading something you don't want them to. or, you can buy a notebook (they're pretty cheap) and create a good old fashioned journal. however, if you have a little bit of exhibitionism in you, make a public journal, tell everyone you know about it, and then watch the shit hit the fan.